Moral Foundation of a Household

In most people’s lives, the sacrifices made by their mother are the driving force behind their successes and achievements. For example, in the inner city we find many fathers leave their children at a young age, forcing the mother to work multiple jobs just so her kids can have a meal on the table. Examples like this prove that mothers play such a key role in the way a household shapes out. A community with a foundation of strong mothers will lead to a community with strong leaders for the future. That is why understanding the role of the mother and the correct treatment by husbands towards their wives plays such a key role in the upbringing of children.

One may ask: what is the role of the mother within a household? To cook? To clean? Those may seem like no-brainers, but those are not requirements that a wife has to fulfill. Cooking and cleaning are done out of love for her family, not because it is required. Rather, the primary role of a mother is proper upbringing of the children within a household.

In early marriages, we find that the father is out working most of the day to provide a living, which leaves the wife at home with the children practically for the majority of a day. The way the mother acts as an individual and the way she deals with her children goes a long way in determining how the children will grow up to be. That is why it is necessary for the mother to be the moral foundation of a household. We see today in society that the most successful mothers were the ones who were true to their family and to themselves and were constantly caring for their families and giving love to her children. Children with such mothers turn out to be morally upright individuals and leaders within the community.

On the flip side, sadly we also find mothers who are careless in their approaches to their family. Materialistic wants become more of a priority than raising children. As this happens, children are neglected and have no one to guide them. When children with such mothers grow up, they are lost within a society with many traps. Morally these children will indulge in satanic elements because they will not be able to handle the temptations of wrongdoing. In our communities, families are in disarray because of the lack of moral foundation within households.

Understanding the role of the mother in a household is crucial, but the correct treatment of the wife by the husband is just as important. Love must be reciprocal in a relationship. The onus is upon the husband to show love to his wife consistently. Reciprocal love by both sides leads to a more peaceful and stable relationship. Tension between the wife and the husband will have an effect on the way the children grow up. Tension-filled households will lead to divided households where family members will not talk to each other.

Today, many men have the notion that women are essentially servants within the relationship. This backward mentality needs to be rooted out. It is a narrated that in their entire marital life, Imam Khomeini never asked his wife for a glass of water even once. Within stories like this are messages for men to learn. We men must understand that women are not machines that can do ten things at once. We should aid and assist in chores around the house in order to ensure that our wives are not overly burdened. If that entails doing laundry or even doing dishes after dinner in order to lessen the load off his wife, then the husband must happily undertake these tasks. A man must do everything in his power to keep his wife happy, because she is the one who wakes up in the middle of the night to feed the young infant and the one who stays up caring for the child who has a temperature and is very ill.

Understanding family dynamics is essential for people of all ages. Advancement of family relationships surely produces a moral society and morally upright leaders for the future.

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  • ~55

    Thank you for this article. I think it is very important to discuss family matters constantly…

    I would like to see an article that discusses the fathers role as well. Not simply as the breadwinner, or wife lover, but as an important care giver in this day and age. Meaning that it has changed from previous generations. I do things that my father would have never done. I can’t tell you how many time I heard “Our men never changed a single diaper”.

    Now, not only are the fathers playing a more active role, but the same grandfather is doing to his grandchild what he never did for his own child.

  • Ali A.

    “That is why understanding the role of the mother and the correct treatment by husbands towards their wives plays such a key role in the upbringing of children.”

    It may also be useful to consider that the contrasting roles of “house wife” and “bread winner” are not universally valid. In many agriculture-based societies, women were (and are) an active part of the work force. Children grown in such cultures were not necessarily worse or better than those grown in those households and communities that promote such strict division of labor. Back in old days, to be able to stay at home for woman was largely a class phenomenon, which mostly the privileged-households could afford to do.

    Historically, the extended family and the village/community together played an equally significant role in the nurturing of children. The nuclear family so cherished these days is a very recent phenomenon, made possible, if in part, through urbanization and industrialization of economies.

    I agree with the previous comment about the need to highlight the role of husband/father, as well as to understand the historic changes in these roles. Would also stress the importance of community, as the saying goes, ‘it takes a village to raise a child’. The focus of discussion on families, in my opinion, should be not limited to rights and responsibilities of husband and wife. With the inclusion of community, and now the modern states, and the role they can play through various institutions, we may be able to allow more variety and flexibility in how husband and wife share/divide their roles and duties. Particularly for women, now they may be able to actualize their full potentials and talents in more varied roles. If a woman wants to play only the “traditional” housewife role, the community/state should facilitate that. But if she wants to play a more active role in society, that possibility should be recognized and allowed too. (The point is not to ask them all to enter the “work force” and abandon their families. A woman can volunteer, work part-time, even full-time, (as social worker, doctor, teacher, journalist, etc.), and which is already happening in many communities, often becoming possible through the cooperation of their husbands and families. Modern technology has also allowed many possibilities to our woman today. The point is that we need to recognize these changes in our communities: She is a daughter, a sister, a mother, a wife, but at the same time, she may be a doctor, an engineer, a judge, a politician, a writer, and so on.)

    Further consider that marriage, in the technical-legal sense as defined in the jurisprudence right now, is a form of contract, and except for a few things the two prospective spouses can pretty much decide on what it would entail, relating to their roles and responsibilities. To impose one particular “traditional” set of roles may not work in all cases and different cultural and social contexts.

    Hope this couple of points contribute toward expanding the scope of the discussion on gender and marriage.

  • Iman B.

    Great reminder! Mothers in Islam have SUCH A HIGH STATUS but our cultures want to destroy that.

  • khadija

    nice refreashing artical!!

  • girlpower

    Not all husbands are the negative stereotype you have presumed above! Feminist brainwashing should be rooted out and treated with weedkiller. It is not only dangerous for pious wives but threatens the very core of Islamic family values.

  • Actually..

    There is nothing feminist about demanding our Islamic rights. A pious wife isn’t one that acts like a maid for some jerk that doesn’t care about her. Islamic family values are very liberating, that’s why so many men oppose them in favor of their cultural backwash.

  • girlpower

    No one has threatened your rights, we should be thankful that our rights are protected as a Shia minority. By believing that females rights are not protected is jumping on the feminist bandwagon. So you think all men oppose Islamic family values? What ignorance! FYI, Islam is what brought respect to the woman during the era of Jahiliyah. Had it not been for Islam, women would still live in a world of “jerks” as you regard all men to be. Feministic views are rife in today’s society, and there is a danger that wives will become complete “jerks” if they get a hold of those views, or the brainwashing spreads wide and far.

  • AMR

    I agree that some forms of excessive feminism have spread far and wide among the Muslim community, but where exactly in the article do you see any mention of such views? A husband helping out his wife with household chores is “feminism”? Then Imam Ali [as] was the first feminist of them all! 😀

  • girlpower

    The whole article is grossly imbalanced, ignores the reality, and is more emotional than fact. It attacks males from the very outset, and Actually believes such an impression is a reality which is inclusive of all males as “jerks”. AMR, you’re welcome to air whatever views w.r.t. this discussion, however, please do not stoop as low as to disregard the Calibre of Our Imam (A.S.). His status is above the scope of this discussion, so if I were you out of respect, I’d stay well away from discussing our Aimmah (A.S.) and their contributions. If you wish to open that front, then perhaps you are forgetting the teachings of Imam Ali (A.S.) when it comes to trusting women. He warns males and teaches them in the Nahjul Balagha Sermons on specific dealings when it comes to women. So yes, feministic views have become a nuisance to deal with, and why is it that only Muslim men are targeted when it comes to “oppression of women” (which is complete rubbish)..I…..Our brothers in faith from other denominations have a far nastier record, so perhaps one should perhaps check there as well…

  • Tahir

    AMR, perhaps Omar, Uthman or Abubakr were the real feminists.(even though they were guys)..perhaps you should do some research on that as well! .LOL…But we won’t know the answer for sure…lol…..=D The Quran specifically mentions that the “real hijab” is actually for males, and not for females. The Prophet (S.A.W) is reported to have instructed all men amongst his believers to “lower their gaze”. So the real restrictions in Islam are designed for males, and not females. So girlpower actually has a point, in that “feministic views” are overrated and bordering on the fanatical, and may threaten the stabiliity and prosperity of Muslim families. If all our women paid heed to the “oppression of women” nonsense, today our women would lose all the serenity and benefits they enjoy in Islam; the centre of a household, the source of RAHMA for families (as daughters), blessings for parents etc. Would we want what is unique for our women, or what their counterparts in the West enjoy (treated as slaves and sex objects mostly)?

  • AMR

    Assalam Alaikum

    Firstly, please don’t use different aliases to back yourself up. The publisher and editor of the site have access to the IP address of everyone who posts comments on here, and they know when the same person is using five different names to back himself up, so please keep that in mind in the future. 🙂

    I absolutely agree with you: “feminism” as the extreme ideology that seeks to destroy our homes and “liberate” our women by forcing careers onto them is quite antithetical to Islam. However, I reiterate, nowhere in the articles does it advocate this form of feminism. No one is saying that we want our women to be treated as “treated as slaves and sex objects mostly”. You need to make a distinction between “feminism” that advocates the reversal of gender roles and sexual exploitation vs. Islamic recommendations on family structure.

    The brother (and yes, it is a brother) who wrote the article is merely saying that Muslim men must treat their wives like human beings, not machines. A wife is supposed to be, in the words of Imam Ali [as] which he used to describe Lady Fatima [as], “the best partner in attaining proximity to Allah”, not a domestic servant whose sole purpose is to cook and clean and slave after her husband’s every whim.

    As Ayatollah Sistani states in his [i]Code of Practice for Muslims in the West[/i], “It is recommended for the wife to do the household chores and to provide the needs of the husband unrelated to conjugal matters like cooking, sewing, cleaning, laundry, etc. [b]These things are not an obligation on her.[/b]” (ruling #457)

    In fact, did you know that your wife can take you to an Islamic court and demand monetary compensation if you compel her to do household tasks? 😀

    The Holy Prophet [saww] set up a household system whereby Imam Ali [as] was primarily responsible for affairs outside the house, while Lady Fatima [as] was responsible for affairs within. That said, however, there are numerous instances that Imam Ali was seen assisting Lady Fatima in her household responsibilities. The Prophet said to Imam Ali once, “I say not save that which is the word of Lord: There is not a man who helps his wife in her housework, save that with very hair on his body a whole year of worship — during which he fasted the days and kept up the nights in prayer — is counted for him.” (http://www.al-islam.org/gracious [chapter 40])

    No one is advocating gender reversal or implementing “feminism” in our communities. As the Prophet of Islam has taught, affairs within the household are the responsibility of the wife. However, the examples of the Prophet and the Imams show us that it is imperative on a man to assist his wife in household tasks as much as possible.

    With all due respect, your comments reflect the highly misogynistic and sexist culture that most of us come from, and they show a deep misunderstanding of gender roles and family structure as prescribed by Islam and the School of Ahlul Bayt [as]. To say that I am “forgetting the teachings of Imam Ali (A.S.) when it comes to trusting women” is further proof that you fail to realize that Imam Ali made those comments (about a woman being stupid, etc.) in regards to ONE particular woman (you can guess who..), not women in general. Furthermore, it is terrifying to see you dismiss the widespread abuse of women in Muslim communities around the world. Take a look at this article, which, by the way, is on a Shia website operated from Iran: http://www.rafed.net/english/women/main/family/matrimony/30-wife-abuse.html

    I would also suggest you take some time and study the following resources in order to familiarize yourself with the Islamic recommendations on family ethics (ideally, sometime before you get married yourself…;-)).




  • Zzzzzzz

    I love Islamic Insights! Great article…it’s good to know that guys still exist who have such views! Brother who wrote the article and AMR, thanks for standing up for the girls the Islamic way!


  • girlpower

    Wa salamz brother AMR,

    JazakAllah for your thoughts and kind references you have provided for further study. IA, when it comes to our marriages we will be sure to seek your services and guidance. =) Getting back to the article in question, I stand by my point of the article being an extreme condemnation of Muslim men, husbands, and fathers in their attitudes towards presumably treating their wives and daughters. It is based entirely on emotion, and not fact. Furthermore, your judgement appears clouded in interpreting my point when you misguidedly state that “it is terrifying for you to see me dismiss the widespread abuse of women around the world”. Where have I supported the abuse or ever more worringlyas you believe, condoned it? Perhaps you are echoing your own sentiments on this matter when you mistakenly presume my stance on this issue. All I am saying is that the article does no justice to the roles of pious and giving Muslim male role models. It promotes a negative stereotype in the minds of the inexperienced reader. Furthermore, if the author (really is a brother as you claim him/her to be) really believes in the welfare of our sisters, perhaps he/she will pause for a moment to ponder on the negative impact such extreme views could have. These views are essentially a product of “western ideals”, a culture which thrives on impersonating and treating the same women (they voice their concern for) as sex objects. I am also NOT denying abuse and other mistreatments exist in the dealings of males and females in Muslim families, however we need to draw the line where such claims appear to be exaggerated and at times appear the product of “interventionist ideals”. Our faith is what brought females protection, and independance to the woman. Obviously, there will be miscarriages of justice. You yourself have wonderfully cleared up the fact that our Aimmah (A..S.) were the best role models of teaching in dealing with females. YES, It is indeed our Shia faith that protects women, and if anyone abuses women then it is wrong! However, articles like the one above threaten this freedom of women and the Muslim women’s role. I say this, because with such extreme our family values and role of women maybe lost forever. That’s all I am saying. I am also quick to remind you, that women have a vital role to play in Islam, as Sayyida Zainab (A.S.) led the way on pioneering the art of Azadari and the concept of Majlis-e-Aza. So hopefully, that clarifies my stance in your mind and my condemnation of such extreme views, which only bring conflict and disrepute to our faith, in the eyes of other faiths of namely Muslims males.

  • amaki6

    Salaams Everyone,

    When I wrote this article the point of it was to show the importance of the mother within her household which is misunderstood from the Males and the Females point of view. A Wife should not be a slave that is trapped in her house from sundown to sunset and a male should not be expecting his wife to be his waitress the second he steps into the house from work. The point of the article was that it takes two, both a husband and a wife to raise a healthy household and currently that is not understood well enough. The Husband is supposed to alleviate as much of a burden off his wife as he can, this goes against all our cultural beliefs not our religious beliefs.

    I am really perplexed what extreme views am I supposedly bringing about ?

  • girlpower

    Wasalamz dear amaki6(Brother/sister),

    I appreciate your honest, sincere intentions in putting forward the viewpoint of two people contributing to the establishment of a household. However, my question to you is that where do you base your extreme views of husbands not doing more to support wives (Muslim)? What do you base such a one-sided insight of the Muslim males’ role on? If any cultural practices do occur (as you suggest they do) encourage such male behaviour, then they are to be indeed considered unjust, and banished forever. Such males are not worthy of being considered a Momin. However, my objection to your “extreme views” stems from your presumptuous insistence that such a practice is widespread amongst Muslim males, on a cultural level. Your views infer that all husbands, and Muslim males are guilty of such a deed. That is a gross generalisation, and discriminatory. Furthermore, you yourself are aware that this is “a cultural belief” and not a religious belief, and must therefore clarify your statements above accordingly. I too object to this “cultural practice” of dumping the house chores on the heads of wives. They are humans like all of us, and deserve the highest level of respect. However, as I said before such a view above exposes our faith to more canon fodder for ignorant feminists hell bent on targeting our faith for its alleged shortcomings. When you and I know that such is not the case with Islam, we need to provide a balanced viewpoint of the facts, or if anything is the case, at least specify which communities are guilty of mistreating their wives. To this end I agree, that the subcontinental community may have a colourful history of mistreating women. But to imply that all males are like that, is at best misguided. This is my personal viewpoint, and I only wish to clarify this.

  • razia

    Dear Brother Girlpower? Or Sister?

    Thank you for the defense of Muslim men and your concern for what non-Muslim critics will think of them, but what do you want? To paint over reality? It’s true, there are men like this, and I’m happy Islamic Insights addresses the problem. And just because the problem is addressed doesn’t mean there aren’t, so relax will ya?

    You gave the example of Sayyida Zainab (pbuh). She was an excellent wife and mother, but she did not just stay in the house and cook when the time came to help her Imam. With her husband’s permission, (and the Muslim men out there should consider, would they give permission for such a thing when the time comes to serve Imam Mahdi [as]) she was away from the house for months, serving her Imam (as) and teaching her children to do the same the best way they could.

    Was she less of a wife because she wasn’t there to serve a cup of tea when her husband came home? I think not.

    Marriage is a partnership to get closer to Allah. There are different ways of doing that. They don’t all involve the basics of putting food on the table. Food and a clean home are just a rudimentary step, to creating a healthy body and atmosphere so a person can concentrate on the higher things. The wife needs a chance to concentrate on the higher things too, she can’t be stuck in the kitchen all day. She has children to raise, because when you raise a child right, you are raising a community right. That’s a mother’s higher purpose. Not making the floor shine.

  • razia

    *doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions

  • girlpower

    Obviously Sister Razi, no one is saying that Muslim Women are terminators or transformers in their own kitchens and houses as they work to scrub and mop floors. Undoubtedly they work tirelessly, and are indeed the mothers of our communites as you rightly point out. Our communties move forward because of women’s efforts, and corny as it may sound, the cliche “behind every successful man is the work of woman”, sits true to this. But, you seem confused when you perceive my point in trying to “paint over the reality”. It seems you’re a little overexcited in racing to join the crusade in defence of women and have missed my point. Muslim women are true legends, and need to be indeed respected more in certain cultures. However, what you fail to realize is that if we all started to jump on the bandwagon of defending “women’s rights” (which is blatantly false, and grossly exaggerated at times), our sisters will be exploited by proponents of feministic ideals. That’s my point. Such ignorant ideals set extremely dangerous precedents and encourage total female independance( which itself is wonderful, but comes at a cost) and condemn aspects such as “the hijab”–would you really want something like this brainwashing our younger or older sisters who end up ultimately roaming free without hijabs? Islamic Insights are free to express their views as they see fit, however, in my opinion such views may poison inexperienced minds about the merits of men in general. It is really great that this topic of discussion has been raised but would you like to (Allah forbid) see your younger sister or daughter fronting up to their fathers/ husbands with claims of abuse/ mistreatment? before you embark on a crusade of defending women’s rights, pause to rethink that Islam has always made it crystal clear that men and women are not equal, there are limits to the ability of both genders (Yes males are not invincible either, they do have limits).That is one of the basic laws of nature. Sorry to disappoint you, but that’s not changing any time soon.

  • razia

    You wrote, unbelievably, “Islam has always made it crystal clear that men and women are not equal, “

    Men and women both have equal status in the eyes of Allah! Every believer is accountable for his and her own deeds, and one can be even better than the other in terms of their deeds. That’s the only basis for inequality, their deeds. Nothing else. Not their gender. Not their race. Go look at the Quran and you will see this over and over again.

    However, and this is what you are getting highly confused I think, men and women are not SIMILAR. Yes, we all understand that, we all understand that they have different roles to play, and even different physical abilities (women are not to fight on the battlefield for example.). But that does not make them any less equal to men.

    This is not a western idea, the westerners were far behind when it came to realizing this, the Church did not even recognize that women had a soul. But Islam does, and Allah value both genders equally, he has assigned them different roles, but one is not superior to the other. You cannot say that.

    I am not “jumping on the bandwagon” of the western rights movement. I am a practicing Muslim woman who wore hijab even before the age of nine, born and raised in the West. But I did not learn about women’s rights from outside, I learned about it from home and the imambarghah, madresssa and Islamic history and laws, I learned about it from the examples of females in our own history. And many others did too.

    Just because we care about our rights (that were given to us by Allah, not the West) doesn’t mean we’re going to go crazy and tear off our hijabs, so please don’t insult our intelligence. Why does it have to be one extreme or the other? Why cannot you accept the middle path, the balance that Islam provides in the middle? But of course, you think we’re not equal to males anyway, so go figure.

  • .

    Girlpower, you are such a disgusting person — why do you care about what Islam says if you are going to suggest things about Sister Razia’s sisters and dad? Learn some aklhaq you pervert!

  • girlpower

    In response to …, your comments show you are very immature, a discgrace, shallow and quick on passing a judgement on others. Your childishness shows that you have taken my entire post out of context. If you have nothing productive or fruitful to contribute as the other brothers and sisters, please don’t launch into a pychotic tirade of personal attack and abuse.Your akhlaq clearly shows you have stooped quite low, and need to re-educate YOUSELF on Akhlaq you ignorant pedophile.
    In response to my comment to Sister Razia, first of all I wish to sincerely apologise for any offence you took from my previous posting. I did not intend to insult your or any other sister’s intelligence or to pass any judgement whatsoever, but to merely point out that men and women have different abilities. Unfortunately, this topic is something which has become difficult to discuss today no matter what happens. It is easy for people, as your confusion sister Razia shows, to misinterpret this. Amidst your emotions, you have misjudged my comments and seek to apply them to yourself. Please understand that, my comments are GENERAL. Nowhere in my post did I say that men and women should not be TREATED equally, but merely that they have different capacities. What I wish to clarify and have previously said is that that they have been engineered for different feats, and capable of performing different tasks. I AM NOT IMPLYING THAT MEN ARE MORE SUPERIOR TO WOMEN. I too reside and grew up in the west, and am well aware of equality of gender. If you have thought otherwise after having read my posts, then you are wrong.
    “Go look at the Quran and you will see this over and over again”—– Of course, everyone is only to be judged on the basis of their deeds. That’s pure common sense, and the foundation of our religion. But you cannot deny that today the existence of external feministic ideals has given Islam a bad name and our faith has become mere canon fodder for its critics. I am not supporting a cleansing of the world free of females or males, instead all I am saying is that women’s rights is an issue that has been abused by a lot of people. Certain people seek to exploit this issue as an ideal breeding ground to further their own interests. In Islam, they find our sisters as targets whom “they pity”, and promise a crusade of freedom. If the feminists really cared about the interests of our sisters, why then would they condemn aspects of Islam such as the hijab? Why do they regard it as the epiphany of oppression? What I have said all along, is that such views will start with mistreatments of sisters (at the hands of brothers) and end up GOd Forbid elsewhere tearing our communtities apart. It is a long term projection (which I previously discussed with reference to poisoning younger minds, an). What I suggest is the line needs to be drawn, or else there is a risk of confrontation and gender war breaking out, and the potential for the loss of our faith based values forever. Unfortunately you misunderstood my point and worry that one should take a “middle path”. Well sadly, you cannot deny that that is not about to happen on this issue. What has also become clearer is that this issue is an inherently sensitive one, and that if anyone ever says something about sisters or women in general, he/she is quickly misunderstood and crucified with allegations of “gender discrimination”. Your view itself shows, that there is no room for compromise or even discussion on this debate. Yes of course Allah has granted women rights, but men have been granted those too (don’t forget they exist), and so have all animals. But you seem obsessed with the concept that women are always oppressed instead of understanding my viewpoint, and that all men are bad (as your post shows), and do not wish to understand my stance, so go protest about the rights of women elsewhere, unless of course you think males were responsible for that again. Sadly, all males are not about to disappear with the waving of a magic wand overnight, and that’s just something you’ll have to live with.

  • Magic Hijabi

    GirlPower, you’re perhaps either very bored or have some hidden agenda. There was very little to contest in the above article. What’s there to argue about? The status of mothers in Islam? That women should be treated with respect? That there is a difference between a servant and wife? Then? Okay. Good. We’re done arguing for no reason. [b]Silence is golden.[/b]

  • minimadmonkey

    is girlppower a guy?

  • .

    Girlpower, if you say things like:

    “It is really great that this topic of discussion has been raised but would you like to (Allah forbid) see your younger sister or daughter fronting up to their fathers/ husbands with claims of abuse/ mistreatment?”

    Don’t be surprised to get smacked for saying such perverted things. You have some nerve talking to others like this! Especially since, as it seems, you’re a guy talking to Razia, a woman. Get a clue!

  • .

    Girlpower, everything you’re saying goes against girlpower. Now you basically put women on the same level as animals:

    “Yes of course Allah has granted women rights, but men have been granted those too (don’t forget they exist), and so have all animals”

    Your posts are rather odd, to say the least.

  • Razia

    Dear Brother Girlpower

    Having different abilities doesn’t make one better than the other, but that is what you’re saying. Go talk to a real scholar. Your posts are all about what you think, not what Allah has said Himself in the Qur’an and what Ahlulbait (as) have said in different traditions (and don’t even think about giving me that sermon by Imam Ali a.s. in Nahjul Balagha where he speaks against women! If you actually studied it you would see that he was really speaking in a subtle way about a certain well-known woman’s bad behavior, talking about her without saying her name straight out, which was not possible in the political climate).

    You wrote, “instead all I am saying is that women’s rights is an issue that has been abused by a lot of people.” So what? Are we supposed to stop trying to get our Islamic rights just because there is propaganda against Islam? If a maulana misuses the mimbar for his own personal gain during majalis, does that make going to majalis a bad thing? If the west does propaganda while they are helping women in the east, does that make the women’s being saved from honour killings a bad thing? No, there’s a difference between the evil propaganda and the good thing that the women are saved, they are not BOTH bad things. So stop lumping everything and everybody together, and focus on the issue.

    Anyway, I’m tired of this discussion, you actually agree with some things everyone has said while being very confused about them, and you are still assuming we are all anti-male just because we care about justice.

    Wa Salaam.

  • girlpower

    Wasalamz sister Razia,
    Just bcause I don’t agree with your viewpoint doesn’t mean that you should ridicule someone for the viewpoint sister Razia. There are people out there who will not always agree with you. In spite of my clarifications in response to your queries, you still appear ignorant of my stance. It is better to save my efforts and I too am tired of this lengthy discussion, and I think you are the one who really needs to focus instead of reading my posts and jumping to conclusions. Yes, I do agree with some of the points which shows I am ready to accept and acknowledge what is correct. You on the other hand are emotionally judging this post from what started as a general discussion, and personalised it to yourself. Stop grapling onto loose straws and try and concentrate on the issue. Yes, your views have been exposed as anti-male, in your crusade as you misguidely perceive it as “justice”. Who has threatened your rights? and you want justice? We should all be thankful that we are not going through other difficulties and calamities other communties have been enduring. There are other communties that deserve justice for lost loved ones, so please don’t even start on justice, and even that for something as trivial as our discussion. This whole thing is exhausting for me too as your tunnel visioned approach and gender beliefs make you too shallow to even understand the other viewpoint.

  • girlpower

    lol …. ..you find my viewpoints odd, because they are too much for you to handle or you either don’t agree with them and can’t handle the truth. the only thing that’s perverted and odd is your neurotic, lust based, random thoughts and occasional rants about something that was posted as part of a generalised message. It seems that you are really hung up on those rhetorical questions, and can’t seem to get enough of them. Relax, take a chill pill and move on. It’s only a discussion, no need to get excited. Don’t get depressed when you get pulled over for misinterpreting viewpoints.


  • VC

    Brother Girlpower, you summed up your entire view here:

    [quote]all I am saying is that women’s rights is an issue that has been abused by a lot of people. Certain people seek to exploit this issue as an ideal breeding ground to further their own interests. In Islam, they find our sisters as targets whom “they pity”, and promise a crusade of freedom. If the feminists really cared about the interests of our sisters, why then would they condemn aspects of Islam such as the hijab? Why do they regard it as the epiphany of oppression? What I have said all along, is that such views will start with mistreatments of sisters (at the hands of brothers) and end up GOd Forbid elsewhere tearing our communtities apart. It is a long term projection (which I previously discussed with reference to poisoning younger minds, an). [b] What I suggest is the line needs to be drawn,[/b] or else there is a risk of confrontation and gender war breaking out, and the potential for the loss of our faith based values forever. [/quote]

    But WHERE in the above article has the author crossed the line and made exaggerated claims, as you so believe he has? I quote him, “Today, [b]many[/b] men have the notion that women are essentially servants within the relationship. This backward mentality needs to be rooted out”. [u]Many[/u], not all. And turning a blind eye to this fact only worsens the problem.

    As sis Razia asked, are we to stop defending women’s rights just because certain people exploit the issue and use it to launch their “women in Islam are oppressed” propaganda?

  • amaki6

    I am basing my facts off the stat that one out of every three muslim marriages are ending in a divorce that statistic should speak for itself ! There is obviously a misunderstanding about the roles of the spouses in a marriage, this lecture should clear things up

  • girlpower

    jazakAllah for the lecture link amaki6.