In most people’s lives, the sacrifices made by their mother are the driving force behind their successes and achievements. For example, in the inner city we find many fathers leave their children at a young age, forcing the mother to work multiple jobs just so her kids can have a meal on the table. Examples like this prove that mothers play such a key role in the way a household shapes out. A community with a foundation of strong mothers will lead to a community with strong leaders for the future. That is why understanding the role of the mother and the correct treatment by husbands towards their wives plays such a key role in the upbringing of children.
One may ask: what is the role of the mother within a household? To cook? To clean? Those may seem like no-brainers, but those are not requirements that a wife has to fulfill. Cooking and cleaning are done out of love for her family, not because it is required. Rather, the primary role of a mother is proper upbringing of the children within a household.
In early marriages, we find that the father is out working most of the day to provide a living, which leaves the wife at home with the children practically for the majority of a day. The way the mother acts as an individual and the way she deals with her children goes a long way in determining how the children will grow up to be. That is why it is necessary for the mother to be the moral foundation of a household. We see today in society that the most successful mothers were the ones who were true to their family and to themselves and were constantly caring for their families and giving love to her children. Children with such mothers turn out to be morally upright individuals and leaders within the community.
On the flip side, sadly we also find mothers who are careless in their approaches to their family. Materialistic wants become more of a priority than raising children. As this happens, children are neglected and have no one to guide them. When children with such mothers grow up, they are lost within a society with many traps. Morally these children will indulge in satanic elements because they will not be able to handle the temptations of wrongdoing. In our communities, families are in disarray because of the lack of moral foundation within households.
Understanding the role of the mother in a household is crucial, but the correct treatment of the wife by the husband is just as important. Love must be reciprocal in a relationship. The onus is upon the husband to show love to his wife consistently. Reciprocal love by both sides leads to a more peaceful and stable relationship. Tension between the wife and the husband will have an effect on the way the children grow up. Tension-filled households will lead to divided households where family members will not talk to each other.
Today, many men have the notion that women are essentially servants within the relationship. This backward mentality needs to be rooted out. It is a narrated that in their entire marital life, Imam Khomeini never asked his wife for a glass of water even once. Within stories like this are messages for men to learn. We men must understand that women are not machines that can do ten things at once. We should aid and assist in chores around the house in order to ensure that our wives are not overly burdened. If that entails doing laundry or even doing dishes after dinner in order to lessen the load off his wife, then the husband must happily undertake these tasks. A man must do everything in his power to keep his wife happy, because she is the one who wakes up in the middle of the night to feed the young infant and the one who stays up caring for the child who has a temperature and is very ill.
Understanding family dynamics is essential for people of all ages. Advancement of family relationships surely produces a moral society and morally upright leaders for the future.